It's the Election Hour with Cliffy B!!!!!

Hello again all you funky cats and dead koalas, it's been a while since you've had the chance to bask in the glory of a shiny new update upon these hallowed pages, but now you may, yet again, get a really bad sunburn with the Ultra Violet glow of my wisdom.

Today, we're going to cover an exciting new topic that you obviously can't get enough of, those wacky Elections!!! (The three exclamations are required by law to make the topic even more exciting).  Although you may think that you've had as much as you can have of the Elections!!! after hours upon hours of  ads, current affairs programs trying to predict who will win and complete media saturation whenever any minor event takes place, you clearly don't realise that you need more.

Whilst there are many good dissections and excellent writings about the Elections!!! findable by the box of Gerald, I believe several things need to be covered further.  Personally, I think that the Elections!!! are immensly enjoyable.  All of a sudden things that everyone wants done are all started at once, roadworks crop up everywhere, pension payments massively increase and all sorts of chances take place at a rate previously thought impossible.  The bad thing is that once these Elections!!! thingoes are done, the roads remain chopped up and all pension payments get crippled once again.

So with this in mind, I think there should be Elections!!! every 4 months.  This will ensure that pensions stay high, roads remain new and slagging matches between brainless politicians are endless, much like the transformers, only without any interest whatsoever. 

Furthermore, the elections themselves are fairly useless.  We may choose between a bunch of overweight old men who have identical views anyway and somehow this is considered democracy.  Why not cut out the middle man?  The elections are so time consuming anyway, why not have them as a series of referendums about each of the supposed issues?  This way, whoever got in would be forced to give the bulk of Australia what they actually want, rather than making false promises and ignoring them once in power.

In fact, we could go one step further and have Election!!! Idol.  Every week a possible candidate would be eliminated from the running after performing a song of sorts.  I wouldn't fancy John Howards chances, but he does tend to sing a new tune every week anyway, so who knows?  Only the "Australian Public" would decide.

For those of you who aren't in Australia, sorry if this was a bit confusing.